Lessons from Potiphar's Wife

 by Bryan Stevenson

¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. ¹² It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age - Titus 2:11-12

I was in high school when I had an epiphany about the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife from Genesis 39. I even wrote a song about it. The song wasn’t any good, but I remember that Dad was predictably impressed. (He was always impressed by his kids and grand kids, and he wasn’t shy about praising them.) The story spoke to me because Potiphar’s wife represented any sin or temptation that I was struggling with, and Joseph’s response illustrated one way to deal with that temptation. He fled. That isn’t a very manly thing to do, to run away and not even face down your enemy. It seems to show weakness in the face of temptation. However, throughout my adult life I’ve applied the tactic multiple times.

Ideally, we’d all have the self control necessary to stand firm in our convictions, but sometimes avoidance is an act of self control itself. As an example, instead of buying ice cream and disciplining myself to only have small servings on rare occasions, I will not buy the ice cream in the first place. It is much easier to decide once, at the grocery store, to avoid temptation, than it is to face it down every single time I open the freezer. It turns out that science supports this technique. In fact, your willpower is finite. It depletes itself every time you use it, and needs to be rested and restored periodically.

Self control isn’t only about continually denying yourself, or continually choosing to do what is right. Self control also requires the wisdom to know how to most efficiently and effectively use it. For example, if you struggle to set aside time to exercise, schedule to work out with someone who will hold you accountable to be there. If you waste time or watch things you shouldn’t on the internet, put up internet filters to protect your home and your mind. If you abuse your credit cards, get rid of them. All of these techniques require some self control to implement, but end up helping you make the right decisions going forward. Like Joseph, you run away once, and in this way don’t drain your pool of available willpower unnecessarily.

So, I guess Joseph was onto something when he split, leaving his coat behind in the hands of the seductress. Of course, it didn’t turn out perfectly for him at first. He ended up being accused of rape and thrown in jail. However, he did successfully resist temptation. That set the stage for even greater things in his life going forward, and the same will be true for us as we exercise good judgement and self control.

Thoughts on Meditation

 by Bryan Stevenson

May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord. ~ Psalm 104:34

 
I’m not writing about anything new. It’s not even new to me. One of my pastors, Marty Angell, gave a message about meditation many years ago. He explained how Christians would often question meditation because of its ties with Eastern religions, but instead we should embrace it as a vital part of a Biblical life. That stuck with me. I’ve had the head knowledge, and I’ve intermittently put it into practice over the years. However, our recent trip with The Center for Short Term Missions, and Jaron’s trip with Global Expeditions, have made the concept more real to me than ever before.


One of the benefits of leaving your home town for a missions trip is that it forcibly pushes you away from your daily routine. It encourages introspection and spirituality, both things that are lacking in a typical American week. So, while in West Virginia we woke up, had breakfast, and then spent an hour or so reading through a study, reading the Bible, and having “quiet time.” (I think the term “quiet time” was invented by American Christians as a substitute for the more uncomfortable feeling word, “meditation.”) Jaron also spent time each morning journaling and reading Scripture. We don’t do this in our daily lives. Personally, I pray every day, typically while walking into my office, or as I fall asleep at night. I’m obviously not very focused, nor am I giving my best.

My Indian co-workers tell me about the rigors of Hindu meditation. Those practitioners take it seriously. They will often set up a shrine in their house, sometimes in a separate room. The sole purpose of that room is for meditation and prayer. There is something to this idea of setting aside a time and a place in our lives for the spiritual. There was a small prayer room at the Baptist church I attended in high school. I always felt a sense of the sacred when I went into that room. The atmosphere set the stage for an encounter with the Divine. I’ve had similar experiences in nature, out on a small boat in the Atlantic, standing in an icy stream just after dawn, watching the waves crash to shore with the sun setting behind my back, or sitting on a patio in the mountains drinking a cup of coffee with Dad. Those times of quiet reflection will lead to personal growth if we allow them to take hold.

The missions trip gave us two things that helped focus our meditation. The first was purpose. The second was location. Now that I’m back home I recognize that I need to set up those same two ingredients. The purposeful setting aside of a time and a place to meditate on the Lord, Scripture, the world, and my place in it.

I’ve thrown the idea up against the wall … now let’s see if I can make it stick.

Love, In Person

 by Bryan Stevenson

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ~ I Corinthians 13: 7-8

My grandfather was determined to stand up for my parents’ wedding. You can see him in those photographs, standing there, leaning heavily on his cane. A few days later he was confined to a wheelchair and would never walk again. Multiple sclerosis took his ability to walk, but it never took his joy in living life. His grit, determination, and optimism was amazing, but I’ll save that story for another time. This tale is about his wife Joanna, my grandmother, and how she taught me one of the most important lessons that one person can teach another.

They didn’t know what was wrong with Granddaddy. His balance was off and he was having trouble walking. Grandmother took a job with the city and my Dad started working as well. They weren’t sure what the future held, but they were going to work hard to make sure the family survived. When they found out it was MS, Granddaddy decided to do everything he could for himself, driving, vacationing, working on cars, fixing up around the house. He had disdain for motorized wheelchairs, and fashioned all kinds of homemade tools to help him get stuff done. Still, there were things he simply couldn’t do.

Some of my earliest memories of him are when I was in elementary school and I got to push him in his wheelchair up the short ramp to the 2nd level of their house where their bedrooms were. It was only 2 steps up, but when I was old enough to help him get up the ramp myself it was a big deal. Grandmother usually did it, and I can picture her leaning forward and pushing Granddaddy up that green, wooden ramp. I also remember cross country trips my family took with them when I was a kid, pulling their trailer and camping out as we made the trek from California to Florida over the course of 5 or 6 days. Granddaddy always drove, and he always helped to set up the trailer. Grandmother was always there to help, whether it was packing up the wheelchair or leveling the trailer on the lot, she went to work and that was how it was.

As they grew older Granddaddy had to rely more and more on Grandmother’s help. He didn’t have any feeling from the waist down, and his circulation wasn’t very good. So occasionally he would get a cut or a sore of some kind and Grandmother would have to change the bandages and clean it multiple times per day. Granddaddy’s shoulders eventually wore out from all of the wheeling around and lifting himself up with his arms. Grandmother was always there to help him move from his wheelchair to his bed, or into the car for the rare trip out of the house. During the last few years of his life, multiple strokes gradually took his ability to speak or communicate, and one side of his body was partially paralyzed in addition to his MS. Still, well into her 80s, Grandmother was the primary caregiver, never wavering. I don’t think I ever noticed her fortitude until one of our final visits before Granddaddy passed away.

Grandmother shared a story with me. Shortly before we arrived she was loading Granddaddy into the van for a trip to the doctor’s office. At this point Granddaddy was unable to do much of anything for himself. He couldn’t propel his wheelchair himself and he couldn’t talk or communicate much at all. Grandmother had him on the electric lift to raise his wheelchair into the cargo van when she lost her balance and grabbed onto to him to keep herself from falling. Unfortunately they both fell out of the van from a few feet off the ground. Grandmother was OK, but Granddaddy broke both of his shins.
Grandmother had tears in her eyes as she told me about it, “I just felt so bad for him. To know that I did that to him.” Then she kind of laughed at herself and said, “But he can’t feel a thing, so I don’t know why I’m so upset. It’s just that Steve has been through so much. I don’t know how he keeps going day after day."

In that moment I realized how much Grandmother loved him. Her love blinded her to the inconveniences in her own life. She didn’t wallow in self pity, instead she felt sorry for the one she loved! She didn’t rage against God or fate, instead she used misfortune as an opportunity to show her love. Through 50+ years of marriage, and decades of care and compassion she showed love in a way that no one else I know has shown. She didn’t say “I love you” with words. Grandmother is love, in person.

The Death of Boredom

 by Bryan Stevenson (2012)

At work the other day I was struggling with a difficult programming problem. I worked on it for a couple of hours straight and then got up to use the restroom and grab some water. I don’t have a cell phone, so my 120 second break was the perfect opportunity for my brain to disengage and wander. On the way back to my desk the solution to the problem I was facing suddenly clicked. I wasn’t thinking about it, or concentrating on it, but my brain was still working in the background. The brief respite was all my mind needed in order to get a different perspective, and a creative solution. That programming epiphany was quickly followed by another … we don’t give ourselves enough time to meditate and simply do nothing. Our bodies and minds are over stimulated and starved for relaxation and meditation. We’re never bored, and we’re losing our creativity, our critical thinking, and our inspiration, as a result.

Society views boredom as a bad thing. It is lazy, unproductive, and worthless. We strive to “cure” boredom like a disease. A recent article on CNN talks about how every idle moment is filled with technology, and asks the question. “Is that a good thing?” I submit that it is not a good thing. It reminds me of an old Bill Gaither children’s song. The refrain, “God loves to talk to boys while they’re fishing”, expresses in simple terms the beauty of a quite moment. Many of our most powerful and precious memories stem from moments like these. I remember holding my children in the hospital after they were born and looking at them in wonder and awe. The world around me dropped away as I drank in those cute little features. Driving, fishing, hiking, sitting next to your wife on the couch in the evening with the TV off. Each of these moments provide an opportunity for introspection and meditation. It activates the creative and problem solving parts of our brain. So, what does instant access to mind numbing entertainment do to our psychology? I think it is truly dumbing us down. Our inspiration is dying in a flood of lights and sounds. We need to turn back to the simplicity that was found in earlier times.

The Bible is filled with instructions to meditate. We are admonished to think on the good and lovely things. Many religions recognize this need and meditation is the cornerstone of societies around the world. It truly does offer us an opportunity to ponder the divine. So, the next time you think about picking up your cell phone to fill an empty minute, think twice. Set it down and just do nothing. I guarantee you will have a refreshing and enlightening moment.